Thursday, January 12, 2006

'Musings on the past' or 'my actual high school sweetheart was a bit mental'

When I think about the idea of high school sweethearts, I think of faded rose petals, wine-stained menus, and simpler times. It's the guy that you don't remember why you broke up with and always wonder if you'd still be in love if you bumped into each other down the road. With that in mind, I had a realization the other day. Toronto is my high school sweetheart.
When we first met I was dazzled. I couldn't believe that Toronto would be into ME. And, I'll admit it, we had our fights, but I was happy. I grew and changed and drank beer on lots of patios every summer. But three years on, I was getting bored of its cheap restaurants, dive bars, great shops. I started picking fights and talking shit about it. I can't take all the blame. Toronto sometimes tries a bit too hard, its a bit too proud of its achievements and sometimes it's a little arrogant. And let's face it, Toronto's a bit small. Then I met another city. A cold, indifferent city. London. London didn't care about me, but I was convinced I could win its love. So I left Toronto. There were tears, recriminations, second thoughts, but we were over, dammit.
I've been with London for 5 months and I'm still in the honeymoon stage. London frustrates me and sometimes I worry that I might not be good enough. I know I'm not ready to leave.
But I am nostalgic about Toronto and all the good times we had. I find myself wanting to walk certain streets, see familiar graffiti and to just have a good, easy chat. Now I'm quite sure that I won't ever love Toronto like I once did, but I hope that we can still be friends. in the summer, definitely not in the winter.
Oh! Depeche Mode just came on the radio. Talk about ol' times.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

London Darling,

Glad to hear you're so happy with your new city. I mean, I don't really know London all that well, but I'm sure it's a great place. I hope it treats you well.

I think about you often, but I must confess that I've been seeing another million people. You don't know them; they went to another highschool.

Our time together was special, but it was time to move on. I know you've already moved on and I'm a step behind, but I thought you should know anyway.

I'm happy with this new crowd. I think I can really grow as a city with these people.

So, no hard feelings I guess. I'm happy you're happy. If you're ever in Canada and want to talk over coffee, you have my area codes. Look me up anytime.

Gotta run. They're trying to build a bridge to the island again.

Yours,
T-dot

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi Julia,

I hope to see you back here soon, even if for a short visit!
You know what's really crazy? I wrote my Warsaw article in a form of a letter to an ex-flame (my ed wanted the theme to be love-and-hate). I think your entry is way, way better but cool, eh?
Cool.
And your ex-city wrote you back, too!

1:05 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

Jowita
That IS cool, but then we do seem to have similar ideas about things.
(and I somehow doubt that my blog entry was even close to being as good as your article, but thank you)

I reckon I could get Toronto back. It's obvious that its still totally into me!

1:34 PM  

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